This is a place dedicated to those who have experienced infidelity. Those who have been the victim of it. Oh how I hate that word. Victim. Let’s change that to something a little less full of connotation. Those who have been the receivers of infidelity. And, yes, it is also open to those who have committed the acts of infidelity. It is only fair that you have a place to voice your thoughts. To possibly help us understand the workings of your mind and heart. It is for those who have recovered and moved on, alone. It’s for those who have recovered and become stronger as a couple. And for those who still struggle in its aftermath, in that horrible desecrated landscape of what we thought life was before forced to face the reality of what it is. Because the truth of infidelity is that it removes us, at least for a time, from the world as we know it, and slams us into an alien world. And at the end of the day, regardless of where we are in this vast spectrum of infidelity, once you have visited that alien world, you are changed. Maybe you’re stronger, maybe wiser, maybe you’re bitter, maybe less open. For good or for bad we are all changed and having visited that alien world we all have one thing in common. We have experienced the visit.
This is a place for me. A receiver of infidelity. I welcome visitors and comments but I realize it may never be anything other than a place for me to unload my inner self. If you happen upon my pages here, you are going to see me in my rawest state. You will see the self-pity and the rage. The confusion and the pain. The part of me that analyzes and sorts and rationalizes. I will shed many tears over this key board and slam many objects against walls. I will have fought hard to maintain my will to quit smoking in the middle of one of the worst times of my life and I will also fall and fail and smoke along the way. But I will get back up. I will always get back up. I will express hatred that is small and ugly. I will blame. I will also show my stronger sides of compassion and hope, though I cannot promise when they will reveal themselves since at this moment anger consumes me to the point of odd calmness. A sort of numbness.
I will tell my story. If you find me here, tell me yours. I will share my research. If you’ve done your own, share with me. If you have web links to helpful sites, share those too. I will share my healing, when it comes. It seems so very far off. So untouchable at this point. But, I’m a rational person despite my strong emotions, and I know it will come. I know I’ll go on. I always have. I always do. And so will you. If you’re one of the travelers to that alien world of infidelity, who’s since traveled the road all the way to healing, then share with those of us who are still fighting our way up the road.
Before I tell my story, I’ll start with some random statistics. It’s easier than starting with my story which I am ashamed to tell, afraid to expose. Afraid that it says something is seriously wrong with me. Me. The essence of stability, success, strength, caring, compassion. Me. The person people turn to, the one they believe has it all together. But, what if they are wrong?