Hello New York! Chicago! London! Hello Singapore! Hello Men all around the world! Show of hands now, who among you has ever said, “I will never understand women”?
Through out my life I have always found myself developing close friendships with men. 90% of my colleagues, employees, friends, are men. It has always been that way for some reason. It’s not that I don’t relate to women. I have a close knit network of female friends whom I treasure. I relish spending time with them. They invigorate me, lift me up, stand solid for me when needed. I have pen pals through other blogs, Facebook, professional networks with women around the world, of all ages and I am often in awe of the beautiful spirits women possess.
But by some strange quirk of fate, my life places me in the circle of men often and I have found it very easy to develop friendships with them. I appreciate our differences. Men fascinate me. I believe I have gained a pretty solid knowledge of men. I know much of how they process life, the things they do, the ways they react. I even often recognize their motivations for doing so. Though I will openly admit that at times I am unable to understand them. Still, I have been blessed by them because they have taught me many things about being male. I find it hardest to relate to a man I am in a relationship with, for the simple reason that I am emotionally invested in his reactions, his actions and the outcome. It is harder to step back and process. I think many women find themselves in this same place. Very comfortable with men. Holding admiration for many of the male traits, and yes even their vulnerabilities but struggling more when they enter the realm of relationships. I think this may be one key difference between women and men. Women find it harder to understand the man in their life than men as a whole, where as men find it difficult to understand women in general. I could not possibly count the number of times my male friends or associates have stated as a matter of fact that women are impossible to understand and it’s just no use trying.
I have two words for you. Pay…..Attention. It’s not as hard as you think. I’ll gladly share the secrets. There is no woman code that requires me to keep it a secret : ) But I also have to warn you. There is a purpose to the mystery and that mystery will never completely go away. The mystery of a woman is part of her allure, it is part of who she is. The most well adjusted and secure of women still find that they are a mystery even to themselves and they recognize that this is a natural god given part of their essence. That they are in a sense, rebirth. Just as they can bring forth life, they are also at their cellular level a constant cycle of rebirth and reinvention. It is this quality inside of us that allows us to be the catalyst for balance in the universe. A constant adaptation to the chaos around us. I believe that women who do not recognize this trait or embrace this trait inside of themselves find it more difficult to cope with what life hands them and often find themselves doubting their own intuition, strength and potential. I know that I certainly do when I lose touch with this part of myself.
But while the mystery remains that doesn’t mean that women can not be understood. That’s the great illusion. While it sounds like a contradiction, it really is not. Just as mother nature constantly renews itself, changes seasons, changes landscape, a woman does as well. And yet we are just that, a constant aspect of nature. Understanding parts of a woman gives new appreciation for the mystery. It allows a man to comprehend nature, while he also learns to appreciate what he can not control.
This will be the first in a series of posts that talk about what it is to be a woman and why we do the things we do. It will also be an insight into the longings in our hearts and the beautiful and yes sometimes strange ways our minds work. It’s not meant to be a lecture. I am not a psychiatrist. It’s a story of women and I welcome comments or questions. I speak only from a womans mind and I include my experience as a woman but also those that I have shared with so many women within my circle and around the world. Still, I’m not every woman and no two women are identical any more than any two men are carbon copies so I also encourage women to confirm or clarify or even contradict what I share here.
The question might arise, what does explaining a woman have to do with a blog on infidelity and my quest to survive it and understand it? It has everything to do with it. Betrayal affects the spirit of a woman, lack of understanding a woman often contributes to the betrayal. For a woman, surviving the affair requires learning to recognize ourselves again, embracing the mystery, getting back in touch with who we are, and what we hold in the scope of human relationships. So it is through uncovering my own mind and spirit and laying it out naked before you that I both reclaim that power and hand you the simplicity and the insight into what a woman is. What you do with it is yours, but I hope that the information will be useful.
And so…. the exploration will begin. I’ll try to break down various parts of being a woman, the nurturer, the warrior, the seductress, the balance keeper for example in the posts to come. I hope you will share in the conversation!