While I continue to work on the details of what I want to express about a womans sexuality and sensuality I thought I would take some time to just muse on what it is to me, to be a woman..
What is a woman?
A woman is so many facets and so many colors that it takes a life time to experience her. A woman is never the same creature this year, as she was last year. She may appear easy to define. But trust me when I say no woman is easy to define. A woman is nature, energy, balance. A woman is passion, a woman is restraint. A woman is softness molded to hardness and back again. She is a whisper and a scream. A woman is tears and laughter, love and anger. A woman is a slow unfolding dance, and wild exotic frenzy. A story that creates itself chapter by chapter. A woman’s mind does not function on a single track with a single focus. A woman is a multitasker in every sense of the word every moment of her life. Always, at all times carrying multiple thoughts and playing multiple roles. She is a daughter, a sister, a mother, a friend, a lover, a caregiver among other things. She does not forget one role to play another. She doesn’t compartmentalize in the same way a man does, though she might fool herself into thinking that she can.
She is peace, often thrust into battle. She is reason often caged by the unreasonable. She is perceived at times as weakness while inside her lies courage and strength and endurance that you might not see. That she might not see. Because she has forgotten or she has never touched what lies within her. But it is there. It is undeniably there..
For the love of women everywhere
Women owe it to other women to remind them of what is inside. What we hold. What we are. What we are capable of. What we can be. Women owe it to other women to mirror to each other the sacred beauty we are made of. Women who attempt to overpower, undermine or outshine each other….have lost their way.
Men who attempt to manipulate, stereotype, take advantage of or undervalue the women in their lives…..are also lost and missing the most valuable gift the universe has created for them.
Women are not perfect. We’re not better than men. We are different. Our complexity requires their simplicity and their strength requires our compassion. The masculine and the feminine are vital forces both within ourselves and outside of ourselves. The primary forces in nature and each compliments the other. Neither has more value.
So, if a woman is so complicated and such a contradiction, how can one possibly understand a woman? Simply put, the key to understanding a woman is first the understanding that a woman is not something to possess or define. When one assumes that they know the limits of the women in their lives, they cease to learn and know the women who love and befriend them. They under estimate what we are capable of and they close themselves off to receiving what we have to give.
Do you look but not see? Listen but not hear?
A woman often believes she wants to be understood, yes. But I believe that what we really want is to be appreciated. To be seen and to be heard in our most honest form. To be seen for who we are and whats inside. That kind of appreciation isn’t just about feeling gratitude or thankfulness for a woman or what she does for you, it’s about the willingness and the wisdom to accept that a woman can be many different things, many different emotions, many aspects of both vulnerability and strength. When you stop defining a woman by the predictable cliches we are raised on and you cease to throw your hands up and claim we’re impossible to understand and difficult to please, then you turn the key. When you learn the pleasure of watching us unfold our wings and you listen to, rather than hide from, the feelings behind our words and watch for the strength behind our actions, you open a door. When you begin to view us as a force of nature, a work of art, a song, a story, and a mystery to respect, it’s then that you really enter our world.
Anything less and you will only see the shadow of us. You’ll see us as physical bodies, expected roles, irrational thoughts and at times impossible challenges and in doing so you are never truly touched by our light.
When does a woman feel most caged in by life? When she is defined only by her roles and the cultural mis-perceptions of women. When her inner being goes unseen and unheard. How does a woman react to this caging of her soul? She either acts out or she pulls inside. Sometimes she does a little of both. She becomes angry and sad. Builds resentment and discontent. She seeks attention in unhealthy ways or stays in unhealthy circumstances (yes I can clearly recognize this in my own life, no need to call me out on it). She becomes cold and distant or indifferent or she becomes a martyr and serves others at the expense of herself. She gives up her dreams or she dreams of escape. The most dibilitating state for a woman is the state of being caged in and misdefined rather than free to be what she is and loved for who she is.