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There is a very big part of me that pulses with energy and optimism.  It is a bit like the churning of a thunderstorm.  The air becomes charged, the wind takes on it’s own voice, the trees begin their own dance, the clouds roll.   All of that energy before the big event,  you know something is building,  something is coming.

 

I feel that some days and I can’t put my finger on it or categorize it but I know the feeling of my spirit when it stirs, when it’s fighting to come back to life and this is the feeling.   It tells me things will be ok.  It tells me to rebel and to TAKE BACK my life and to make my own destiny and to live authentically as me,  for me.   And through all of that,  I will be able to continue to give to others more completely but without sacrificing myself in the process.    It’s a very restless feeling.   A feeling like I am on the edge of inspiration that hasn’t yet been revealed to me.

The other side of me is still caged.  Still angry.   Still the wild cave woman shaking the bars and growling deep in her throat.   A woman who wakes from sleep and has the feeling she has just unleashed the fury of hell in her dreams.

Ironically it’s this wild woman and her anger that I know to be the source of the stirring inspiration I feel inside.  It’s she who is fighting hardest for me and who refuses to accept anything less than full vibrant life.   She who reminds me that once I make my way out of this cage and this process of healing that I will never ever allow her to be trapped inside of me again.

If that makes any sense….

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