About


This is a place dedicated to those who have experienced infidelity. Those who have been the victim of it. Oh how I hate that word. Victim. Let’s change that to something a little less full of connotation. Those who have been the receivers of infidelity. And, yes, it is also open to those who have committed the acts of infidelity. It is only fair that you have a place to voice your thoughts. To possibly help us understand the workings of your mind and heart. It is for those who have recovered and moved on, alone. It’s for those who have recovered and become stronger as a couple. And for those who still struggle in its aftermath, in that horrible desecrated landscape of what we thought life was before forced to face the reality of what it is. Because the truth of infidelity is that it removes us, at least for a time, from the world as we know it, and slams us into an alien world. And at the end of the day, regardless of where we are in this vast spectrum of infidelity, once you have visited that alien world, you are changed. Maybe you’re stronger, maybe wiser, maybe you’re bitter, maybe less open. For good or for bad we are all changed and having visited that alien world we all have one thing in common…….. We have experienced the visit.

14 thoughts on “About”

  1. Are you and your partner dealing with infidelity issues?

    Has your relationship been permanently altered after discovering that your partner was unfaithful?

    Do you find it beyond difficult to trust your partner after finding out about their affair?

    Are you at the end of your rope & do you fear that you’ll never be able to move forward without real help?

    If this sounds like you and your partner, we would love to consider you for a compelling new docu-series seeking

    to help couples move forward after experiencing infidelity. Couples will be paired with a nationally-accredited

    therapist to help work through their issues. This is for a non-airing presentation and you will also be compensated for your time ($1000/couple)

    For more information and for referrals, Please email couplecasting@sirensmedia.com

    1. your name, age and phone number
    2. your city/state
    3. A brief description of your situation/story as well as a few recent pictures of you and your
    partner.

    We look forward to hearing your story and helping you on your journey to healing.

  2. This is (was) Broken Heart Recovery, my anonymous blog was compromised and became not so anonymous. I’ve changed my site address to http://www.stilllovinghim.wordpress.com

  3. Hey SI — I don’t know if you would care to participate in WordPress’ Beautiful Blogger Awards, but I’ve nominated you. See it at:

    http://notoverit.wordpress.com/2012/11/30/beautiful-blogger-award/

    Keep up the great blogging!

    Love & prayers,
    DJ

  4. Thank you for your courageous generosity in sharing this with others! Continued strength and gentleness to you!!

    And just one thought on semantics – We dislike the word ‘victim’ in relationship because we have been taught that it denotes someone weak, passive and shamed. We internalize the idea that the person should have been or done something differently. This idea and our reticence to use the word only perpetuates victim shame and blame.

    In fact, if a perpetrator is intent on victimizing another, their ‘victim’ holds no responsibility. A victim is merely someone who was victimized by another. We are not uncomfortable in saying that we were victimized by a mugger, a con-man, a scam… I suggest not shying away from the word, but clarifying where the true blame and shame for victimization lies.

    • Gurus4life, thank you for your note and encouragement. I can’t claim to be courageous, as my initial intentions were simply to find a place to journal my thoughts and I didn’t really think that many people would come across them. It has been a healing experience for me to be able to explore this journey with other people who have experienced it. Many of them far more bravely than I have.
      I do understand your comments on the use of the term victim. I admit that it is a form of victimization to have an affair in the sense that the betrayed partner has no control or say over the actions their partner chooses. I also believe that affairs are a choice and thus intentional regardless of how accidental they may seem at the time. I am hesitant to draw a line that paints one person a victim and another the victimizer. Only for the simple reason that while there are no excuses that can justify the choice and the betraying partner should take full responsibility for it, people are human. Humans are weak, needy, and short sighted by nature. We all fall in one way or another. Some perpetrators of affairs are more cruel than others, their actions quite deliberate and selfish in nature. But they are still human. To me, the importance is in how they react when caught, how and to what degree they repair the damage they have caused, and how willing they are to do the work they need to do in themselves and with their partner to assure that kind of hurt never occurs again. Those who choose to repeat the hurt again and again….well, those may earn the title of victimizer.

  5. Hi! I just wanted to let you know, I nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award. http://iminlovewithaserialcheater.com/2012/06/09/the-rules-of-re/ Your blog is an inspiration to me, and you have helped me a lot as I continue the healing process. . .

    • Ariella, Thank you so much for the nomination and the ongoing encouragement. You’ve been an important part of my support and healing as well! I haven’t forgotten about this and will get the rules etc. reposted soon. I’m still getting use to wordpress and haven’t figured out all the ins and outs like linking blogs etc. yet. As soon as I can find an uninterrupted evening I will respond in kind. Thanks again! For everything…

  6. This blog needs to be known. I applaud your courage, your resilience, your strength, and your heart. Like the scars of Jesus, it is from our wounds that healing flows. I would love to help get the word out about your blog. Let me know what I can do to help with that… I would be happy to direct people to you from my own blog, or host a guest post from you. If you are interested, touch base with me and let me know how I can partner with you in linking you up with the people who need this place. You should be able to access my email address by clicking ‘edit’ on this comment, or just visit me on twitter or my own blog (www.OfDustAndKings.com)

    • Thank you for your encouragement and interest. First, let me say that your blog is beautiful and I like the name you have chosen for it.

      Regarding my blog and directing people to it. My primary purpose is journaling my struggle and sharing resources I have found. I have hoped that if someone facing similar circumstances found me, they might find some usable resource or at least comfort in knowing that others have traveled the same path and felt the same pain. I had never given thought to building followers or trying to promote my blog and now that you have suggested it I’m not certain how I feel about it.

      My blog is very raw. Had I been writing with the intent to reach many I would have paid close attention to my emotions and focused on trying to share hope rather than vent my confusions and anger. I’m afraid my blog is not very godly in a number of ways from uncensored language to allowing myself to experience some very weak emotions. I would feel as though it may be quite offensive to readers who enjoy your blog. I would also feel as though I were open to judgement and offering my partner up for judgement.

      I would like nothing more than to think that someone might find hope in my story one day, perhaps more so when I know the ending. I welcome anyone who visits here and wants to share. You are of course free to share anything you feel is useful but I somehow feel that my trying to promote it would not be authentic for me. I hope that makes some sense and I truly thank you for taking time to leave me a note.

  7. Cheering you on! 😀

  8. I can relate, wish I couldn’t. You are courageous in sharing your story, BRAVO! This is a good way for healing to start…by letting it all OUT.
    Blessings 🙂

    • Thank you so much for the encouragement! It really is about finding the path toward healing. Everyone finds their path a little differently, so we’ll see where this one takes me

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